so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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