butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
