smell my finger.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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