Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize