I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
