We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
