Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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