i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
