hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
