oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
