What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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