is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
