He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
