shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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