I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
