Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
