No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
