Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You smell like stripper and shame
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
