I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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