dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
