Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
