I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Randomize