can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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