I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
