dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just cropdusted the office
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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