Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You are a genius and a whore.
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