what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
