And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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