You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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