he shaved USA in his pubs
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
