i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
