im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
