What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
