you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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