But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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