Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
