she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
