i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
