The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
