u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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