its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
