Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
