I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
