so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize