I have demons in me.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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