they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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