I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
