Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
