Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
