your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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