Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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