did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm going to jail i love you
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Randomize
