I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
