It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
