i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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