you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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