So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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