just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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