I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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