so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
