Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize