don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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