Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
