i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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