I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
