I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
